I wrote this in February 18 2008.
Since I have been out of work for six months, I have really slowed down in the way I do things. But it seems time has speeded up. I have stopped doing some things but started doing others: like writing. I have finally started to write and let out all the stuff that is in me. At times I will write a couple pages of “downloads” from the Lord. I didn’t know I had it in me. I am sure that a lot of people didn’t’ know I had it in me. But those close to me knew I had it in me, because I have been talking about this all the time. It is amazing to me! I just sit down and start with a subject the Lord gives me and off He goes. I just write what comes to my mind. I do that when I get around people, too. I say whatever the Lord allows me to say. I see a lot more than He allows me to say. Some people are not ready to hear about what they are feeling inside. This is discernment or revelation. If you have the gift of discernment and don’t walk in mercy you could really crush someone. You can see that in all aspects of life. God really is in everything. When you really get quiet with the Lord, you can almost sense creation crying out to the Lord. When I take my dogs out at night, I can’t help but reach up to the heavens and just worship Him, “the creator of all things.” THE ONE WHO IS AND IS TO COME!
As I think about from where the Lord has brought me, I am just amazed at what He can do. I am just a country boy from West Virginia who grew up on a farm. I always had big dreams about doing great things for people. I never told anyone about my dreams because I have had no one in my life that I could trust enough to share my heart with. I finally have someone I can trust enough to tell everything to: Jesus. It is kind of unfair because He already knows my dreams because He put those dreams in me. Other than Jesus there is no one with whom I have a strong enough relationship to share everything that is inside of me. Maybe that is the Lord protecting His purpose, or me. I do not know the answer to that question yet. Hopefully, it’s just not time yet. I truly desire to have a friend who can be like a brother; closer than a brother. I know Jesus is that person, but I would like someone here in flesh with whom I can have fellowship. It is godly to have someone to walk with. I have been searching for this all my life. That is why I joined the Marines: the Band of Brothers. It was great! Our shop was like that; we would do anything for each other but it still had its faults because we all were worldly. But we would have died for each other. I believe that is why so many go into the military; to have someone by their side. We go through life searching for this. When someone uses us or hurts us, we tend to pull away from true fellowship because we don’t want to be vulnerable. We were created to have fellowship with others and to have dominion over the earth.
The Body of Christ is to be one body united by the Lord. When the unity of believers happens that will be the Church’s greatest hour; when we all come together for the Glory of the Lord. No matter what nationality, race, and ethnic background, we are all made in the image of God (the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). We will be working together as one in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God -- who was and is and is to come.
The other night Rebecca and I were talking. I was telling her about my passions and desires. This is my cry: “Yes, to know Christ and to know the power of His resurrection, and somehow partake in His death, burial, and resurrection. Unto you, O Lord, I commit my Spirit, all that is within me I commit unto you, O Lord!” Sometimes I feel like I could explode; like there is so much in me, I just want to let it all out. I don’t understand it sometimes. I feel like a volcano -- like I am building pressure up until the Lord removes the stopper. It’s funny, when I was a kid I always thought that I had a power inside that I could let out and it would flow through my hands. Do you know when we are born we have the gift of God? When I lay hands on people and the power from the Holy Spirit flows through me, I am reminded of when I was a child and would dream about it. I also know that satan comes and tries to kill, steal and destroy the passion and desire the Lord gives us. When I see those who are tormented by the devil and the demonic forces I can also see the plans the Lord has for their lives. We have come to set the captives free so the Glory of the Lord may be seen through all the earth. That is why we are here on earth -- for the Glory of the Lord to be seen. That they may know that He is our God. At the beginning of the New Year, I heard a Pastor whom I love dearly say that his cry is to see God face to face. I too desire the Lord to speak with me face to face. My prayer is that the Lord speak face to face with his servants, as he did with Moses.